when the gusts came
by so-imperfect-its-perfect
Summary: Because leaving is much more simple, see. -TeddyLily


She is asleep in her bed one morning, her hair like liquid fire twisting through the sheets. She's desperately beautiful, and he can't help but to spin circles on her back, kissing his love onto her skin. And he shouldn't be doing this.

Her eyelids start to flutter, and right then and there he falls in love with the way you wake up. Slowly, and catching your bearings, no matter your age. The emerald of her eyes lock with the natural amber of his own, because he never can change the color of his eyes when he's with her. Lily yawns, and stares up at him, blinking owlishly.

"Teddy," she smiles. "Love, what time is it?"

He glances over at the digital clock next to her bed, because doing things the muggle way has always been easier.

"10:35," he says, then does a double take. "Merlin, Lil, it's 10:35! Vic, she's going to be home, she was coming home from Paris today!"

Lily gets a cross look on her face, and scowls at him. "Fine, go back to the _wife_."

And it pains Teddy to leave, but Victoire's bound to be home now, and Godric, what is he supposed to do? So he does what seems right at the moment, and kisses Lily on the temple, flashes a grin and leaves.

::

A month later they're in the same situation. Lily is lying in her bed, fast asleep, and he lies next to her, spinning his wedding band twixt his finger. He doesn't know what to do, Victoire is a star, and stars need to shine, don't you see? But maybe he's the cloud that's blocking her rays. But if Victoire is just some star, galaxies away, then isn't Lily his Sun? The closest of them all, the most precious? Teddy doesn't know, and doesn't care to be philosophical this early in the morning.

But stars don't last forever. Soon or later they're going to explode. And whether or not they end up going supernova isn't up to simple boys like him.

::

It seems like every weekend he and Lily lie together in the gentle chaos of her London flat, and they're just begging for a disaster. But with every passing week Teddy cares less and less. She wakes up earlier than usual, and Teddy can tell that something happened with her father the day before because she only wants sex, and she didn't mention leaving Victoire even once.

But he's still a man, and if Lily is there, not so much breaking as already broken, he doesn't want to question anything. So they start to repeat their encounter of the previous night when James bursts in.

"What the fuck?"

Lily scrambles for the sheets, trying to keep her modesty, but it's all useless. "James, it's-it's not what it looks like."

"Like hell it's not what it looks like," James looks at Teddy, but by then he's more disappointed than anything. "My sister Teddy? You're married."

Teddy rakes a hand down his face, and all of this, it's just _exhausting._ Between Vic, and Lily, and not being able to choose, he can't stand any of it. So he does what he's best at, and he leaves.

::

Two weeks later, and he's back at her flat. She opens the door, and for a second he thinks she's going to slam it in his face, but then she just sort of sighs, and tells him to come in.

"I'm sorry I left Lil. But James, he, it's James."

She just walks around the kitchen, pacing, and she always does this when she's nervous, and Teddy just knows that nothing good will come of this.

"I think you should go Teddy. And never come back. You're hurting me, and Victoire, and I'm just tired of your games."

"I left Victoire," he says, but already knows that it'll make no difference.

"I don't care," she whispers. Teddy knows she does. "Just go."

And so he does. Because that's what he's best at, right? He left his wife, he left his Grandmother, because he had to be on his own don't you see? But through it all he was never truly alone, because she was always there, in the distance, waiting. But now the wait is over, and she's trying to move on. So he lets her.

::

He decides to travel, and goes everywhere from New York to Beijing. The lights and the people make his problems seem smaller, but when he goes to a hotel for the night, all he can see is red. And red is her. Red is Lily.

So he writes her. He sends her letters, one for every day he's gone, but he was never good with words and most of them are rambling and don't make sense. But he puts his love into them and he hopes she can see that.

::

On a cold day in January he goes back to her flat, and takes a leap of faith. He opens the door, and walks in. She's lying there, on the floor in front of her muggle television she insisted on having, with a bottle of booze, also muggle, and she has mascara running down her face.

"You weren't actually supposed to leave," she says. "You were supposed to disagree with me. You were supposed to say you loved me and you weren't going anywhere."

And she's just lying there, gasping for breath, looking at him expectantly. Her wand lies discarded next to her, and he is reminded why she hates magic.

"I know now what you meant when you said that the magic Hogwarts teaches isn't real. You can make a rat into a teapot, but you can't do things that matter. Sure you can defend and protect, but you can't make someone truly happy, or show them real love. But if you let me, I want to show you that together, we have real love. We have true magic."

He hates being sappy, but for the first time in his life he's being honest about something, and by Merlin it's liberating. Lily, she brings out the best in him and he's just realizing it now. He looks over to her, and she's laughing, and crying, still. But it's different.

"You're such an idiot," she smiles, and jumps at him, kissing him. And now Teddy knows that there is nowhere he needs to run. He's right where he's supposed to be.

::

**A lot of this is probably messy, and all together not that good, but I needed to put it out there. **


End file.
